Tuesday, April 10, 2012

You're skinny, so...that must make you smart, too.

So, this morning, I saw this picture in my Facebook newsfeed, and it just kind of annoyed me. If I had a nickel for every time I have seen a similar picture plastered on Pinterest...  But this one just got under my skin.  For those who are not even motivated enough to click the link, it shows some skinny running woman's backside and the words, "If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up".  I have decided that images like these were created for only 2 purposes: one, to make the skinny (and trendy) people feel better about themselves, like a bunch of Jillian Michaels wanna-bes who think just because they strap on a pair of Nikes and parade their Spandex-clad fannies along the local running trail, this qualifies them to give life-management advice.  The only other reason I can think of that these type of image/messages exist is to be pathetically posted on the walls, boards, and refrigerators of those who actually enjoy allowing themselves to be humiliated and beaten down, whether by others or themselves. The idea is that by reading this mantra, one will find the inner drive to become like the person in the photo.  "Thinspiration" is a common heading under which images like these are classified (whether the term is used correctly or not), but I have to stand up and say that I find statements like the one discussed here are anything but inspiring.

First of all, it doesn't make any sense.  If someone is tired of starting over, that someone has obviously NOT given up, because they keep picking themselves up over and over and over again.  Does that sound like someone who gives up?  Nope.  In fact, I would have to give this individual a huge amount of kudos for perseverance, and a big helping of encouragement, because it does take courage to keep trying at something that is hard enough to knock you down over and over.

Secondly, it is demeaning.  Just because one has to start over, even many times, does not mean that their previous failure was because they "gave up".  It implies some sort of character flaw, that the person is a "quitter", etc., when in fact, as mentioned above, I believe that quite the opposite is true.  Many things get in the way of perceived and so-called success, especially when it comes to physical fitness.  Often, it is a matter of priorities.  We can quote some generic cliches about how nothing is more valuable than your health, but truthfully, sometimes there are things more valuable than your health, at least temporarily, and we put those things first while doing the best we can to care for ourselves in the meantime. Consider a family that has fallen on hard times and the provider who has to pick up 3 jobs just to make ends meet.  Do you think he has the time (or energy) to spend half an hour a day going for a run so that he can keep in top condition?  I'm sure he'd like to, but other things must come first.

Being a stay-at-home mom with a husband in school and also carrying two jobs, I have to argue a similar point.  I cannot just push my young children aside because I want to exercise everyday.  I am on my own with them for almost all hours of the day, and when I have the good fortune of my husband being home to help, my time needs to be spent caring for the family in general, through such things as making dinner, keeping the home tidy, and so forth.  It is very, very hard to carve out the time needed to devote to my personal health, even in the early hours of the morning.  I'm pretty sure that I'm not just making excuses for myself here.  I have decided that the well-being of my family must come first, and right now, that means putting myself second.  That is just the way it is.  It is only temporary, as our situation will (hopefully) improve and the children will become more independent, and I do try to eat well, manage my body's intake, and walk instead of drive when I can, but does the fact that I am not fit and toned mean that I have "given up"?  I resent such an implication, and I know that I possess the character that is suggested I lack.  Self-appointed-Jillian-Michaelses of our society, get over yourselves, and for the rest of us, don't let them walk their self-righteous, $200 fashion-statement Nikes all over you.  Respect yourself, be true to yourself, and don't you ever, EVER feel ashamed to start over.